Now Who The Fuck Cares?

Ok now the biggest phenomena on internet history is Facebook. Fuck you Mark Zuckerberg. This part of my life is called - lifeless. I post statuses and notes on it.
I comment on my own or my friends pictures on it.
I broadcast about my own insecurities on it, sometimes.
I boast about my sexual innuendos - perhaps 99.8% of the time.
I take the piss out of you most of the online time too.
Now tell me what sort of life i 've got?
Lifeless.


But you know what- have i ever updated on what color of my knickers are?
Or what i had for supper after i had sex last week?
Or where am i heading to for afternoon quickie?
Or what does my fattening nasi lemak taste like this morning?
Hell NO.

Who the fuck cares.

Addickted

So don't tell me you have never been addicted to anything. Not even to a person?
I, for instance, have some not so fetishes or obsessions towards things that most people i'm close with already know.

1) Fine pinstriped suit
I don't know why, but they're hot as hell. Not to mention some debonair gentlemen looking so fine in it, but even Renee Zellweger wears one in New In Town, i think i'm gonna get one - just for the hell of it (or for a role play during you-know-what)

2) Calves muscle -gastrocnemius ( sounds even better when i say it, because it makes me look painfully smart, it hurts)
Six packs are so yesteryears, even i got much better abs than most men i know (Laughing Out Out), so fuck it because i've decided to salivate in horniness when i spot these great muscles on people. Regardless, men or women.

3) Candles and room fragrances
So what's with that moldy smell in your bedroom? Yucks how can you even get laid by living like that? I'm obsessed with my bedroom i wanna die in it. I remember once upon a time in America, i filled up half of my suitcase just to accommodate space for my Yankee candles.

4) Men in shorts and baseball cap
To me, naturally good looking men look good when they're at ease. Hence the shorts and baseball cap. (Plus you can spot the calves muscle of course tee hee...)

5) Salt
I eat salt with almost everything. At one point, i almost think of salt while having sex.

6) Telephone booths
I've started a relationship with telephone booths about a year ago, right before Christmas. This may sound relatively lunatic, but i have quite a number of pictures of me with phone booths (looking so cool as if i was yelling of someone for not fingering me the right way) LMAO!

7) Food crusts
I love 'em. Pizza crusts, pancake crusts or even bread crumbs. I even eat leftovers, as long as they leave the crusts for me. That, or there's no explanation and I'm just plain fucking weird.

8) Men in glasses
I mentioned this way too many times already. Don't be getting sick on me. Please

9) French accent
Pink once quoted " everything sounds sexy with a French accent"

10) Kissing
Damn i fucking love kissing i wanna die while kissing.

Being 30

I have almost forgotten the fact that i have a blog. Well, a raunchy blog, that the people of my kind love visiting.. or at least to check me out.

Yes i did turn 30 three days ago. I feel awefuckinsome. Not only because i can now call myself a woman, but also because i like this part of my life, where everything is not just about getting married and most importantly-- get fat (after i give birth of course). Other than that, it's the party of course, where i felt like i was Miley Cyrus or something. Well who says i don't like attention.

Hmm.. You can't just lie about loving birthday gifts, regardless in what form they come in. In this case, i've passed the stage where i keep thinking of what i want for my birthday. Being a spoilt bitch i was, i liked the idea of getting a lot of things. Not anymore.

Literally speaking, growing up is also something i keep thinking of lately. I have no resolutions, not even a vision. I live by the moment. I never even think of what kind of sexual position i'm up for, tonight or tomorrow night...or the night after. I do what i like, i like what i do, and most of the times, i like doing what other people don't like doing.

I like being in love though.

Truth Hurts, So Does Brazilian Wax

So, did anyone like what i wrote in my earlier post?
Bet no one does! Well this isn't about how much i hate men, and it's not about which side i'm on either.It's about the truth, which can be painfully true, yet difficult to swallow. Ahem... not "that" kind of swallow though.

So i watched The Ugly Truth with Metal Man who i literally work with, believe it or not, i keep thinking about how influential chick flicks are to me. The main male character for instance, keeps reminding me of how hurtful truth can be . I bet 98% of the time, i've been living in denial - not wanting to accept things which are absofuckinlutely obvious to the rest of the people i know. Being an oblivious bitch i am, i often give the benefit of the doubt to most human beings that annoy me. Why?

BECAUSE truth hurts, and you don't want to get hurt. Literally speaking, someone who has never done Brazilian waxing for instance, could probably believe that most men love her bushy southern region. In relation to that, she is denying the need of having that part of her region waxed..or even mowed.

Trust me ladies, if you think something is too good to be true then IT IS too good to be true. And the moment you think that he is not interested, he is probably 99.8% not interested in you. Don't live in denial, it's kinda mental. It eats you up inside, it makes you feel so shit about yourself..and it leaves you wondering why haven't you got him. It's not about who has got bigger tits, you or your contender. It's about living "bulletproofly". Realise your shortcomings and do something about it.

Remember, you can lose weight but you can't lose ugly. Nuff said.

When I Actually Don't Give A Fuck

So wedding bells are ringing everywhere, good for them.
And i just remembered something - it's from the Personal Training marketing workshop i attended last week. Sitting on my ass for more than for hours is not really my favourite thing to do but i did it anyway because i think it would be very beneficial for me. So we were given a simple task to figure out some hot headlines that we can think of to market our service. Being an obvious jerk, i came up with "Get Fit Before You Commit" and " How To Not Lose Your Husband In Three Months" . I could probably cater to brides/grooms to be. I thought that was hilarious, at least they laughed. *LOL*.

So yeah, back to the getting married bit, i think most effort are made by women, especially when it comes to looking good. Double standard eh? I see women flocking to beauty centres, slimming spas or even sign up to fitness programmes, but men do nothing. They don't do shit like that. And how often do you see men trying to make an effort to lose weight or look better before the wedding? I think we women are amazingly graceful, doing anything we can to stay in love or even not to lose our partners, but what do we get in return? Saggy balls?

You can give a fuck about what i write here, or choose to lie to yourself. Yes, you're probably wondering if i still am the same Aida. The old one eats junks and was a lazy bastard, exercises only once every decade. The new one is reborn, has given up soda, and doesn't eat after 9.30pm (or trying not to). I can't believe i'm typing this either, but guys, you can worry or be sorry. Nobody wants a fat husband. And you know what, contact me if you want to make a difference. One more thing though- any man should feel shamed if his woman has better abs than his- i'm speaking through experience.

For women out there, i admire your effort in staying beautiful and doing everything you can to impress your partner, We often hear you say " I have to watch what i eat, i don't want my boyfriend to think that i'm fat"..
But i never heard any man saying " I want to stay/be fit for my woman".
Well maybe because i've always been surrounded by fit and hot people. Don't hate me.

As Good As It Gets

Sorry folks. This blog is getting more and more serious.
Well okay, i have to cut down on my sexual innuendos here, in conjunction with the upcoming Ramadhan, AND also i don't think my other half would be very happy seeing more profanities here. Hence, no sex talk for this time around!
So my running is improving, thanks to Mr Honey and also my series of Nike shoes. This is my fourth pair in 2009, and seriously it is like rocket science. I've been fancying Lunarglide+ but i decided not to get it when i found out Lunartrainer provides more stability and my feet feel awesome in it.
Good news is, i've successfully stopped drinking soft drinks now ( been 6 weeks yo!)
Next -perhaps i should work on my lack of enthusiasm.
Slowly but surely, i gotta stop putting junks into this body, as well as eating shit without any supervision. Ha!

My Skintention

So what does perfection mean to me?

And how do i define "feeling good"?

I know i haven't written or posted anything about beauty, make up, fashion.. or even food review. It's not that i alienate these areas, i just suck at it. They are universal, and it takes a lot of expertise to talk about them, so i would normally just write about "you-know-what".

But this time, i'll just say i feel best when am comfortable in my own skin. Period.

I know many have suggested i should accessorize a bit, or even put some eye color or change the boring style of my hair, thank you. But i am me. As lame/boring as it may sound, i have been very comfortable in this "suit" and have never been insecured about what i don't have. I know my flaws, and i know it is okay if some people think i'm unattractive.

So up there, that's the best jar in the world, methinks. A name says a thousand words..ha.. It's Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion, perfecto for a drama queen like me. Having been its user for about 4 years, i can tell you i have never trusted any other moisturizers like i do this one. It is arguably one of the best skin product i've ever purchased. See, who says i only talk about sex?

When Impossible Is Nothing

This was the first time i feel proud of myself in months. I wasn't even that fast, but i made it.


I used to think running a marathon is impossible for me to do. Not anymore.

Buybuy Baby!

Oh no... so you're broke? Worry not, it's not the end of the world. Especially when you're a compulsive hoarder like me, and HALF of the dresses in the closet are still unworn, you got yourself covered.

So Nabila has been preaching (for at least half a year) about how i should give away the clothes that i don't wear, and sell some of them (my watches too) that are worth buying. Not only you'll find out how much money you've wasted "unconsciously", but you will also realize that you only have a pair of legs, two wrists and ONE body. Haha to that. At least now you will be less broke when you can finally pay half of your credit card debt with the money you get from the dresses' sales. Well this hasn't happened yet, but i've already sorted and segregated the "for sale" unworn items. You'd be surprised how much they worth in total (even with a very low price per piece). With Nabila's help, i finally managed to clear that huge ass suitcase full of junks. Mon Dieu, i feel better already! That means, more space for Pamster to roam around now. Ha!

One part's solved, but i have a new addiction. Oh my, this entry has just got better. Well it's merely a healthy disorder. *Wink*
I start collecting sports bra. As a matter of fact, i've just upgraded to M size. See i told you, we do things for a reason. In my defense, i should say a) it's because i don't wanna have saggy tits, and b) nice and different varieties of bras are resulting to a good run!

Hey don't judge me! At least i don't collect cock rings!

What's With The Crocs?

Seriously. What's with that ugly looking rubber footwear? Cure for smelling feet, perhaps?
I thought they're not so in anymore, but i guess i'm wrong again this time. The last time i laughed so hard was probably almost two months ago when Tepung put on his baby blue rubber. Sigh. I know that was mean, but Dona and I just couldn't hold it back. We thought he made himself look like a schmuck.

And then again, last week, during a chilling session at Ceylon Bar, i experienced not one, but TWO Crocs encounters. Hmm... one is a reasonably cute Scandivanian guy who was talking to my friend. He wore a thing that Veronica called "a curry coloured Crocs". Duh.
I don't understand it. Why would you put on this ugly ass shoes? Okay, in know they also make some of the non ugly ones and they're comfy as hell. But would you be caught dead wearing them in public? Comfort over looks? How about comfort AND looks?

And, just when i thought a man who dresses well will NEVER wear Crocs, i was proven wrong again. Why oh why would you make yourself look like a complete fool when in fact you have a Hackett polo shirt on, but at the same time parading this puke green pair of ugly shoes?

Hehe okay, i have a confession to make: I used to own a pair (long time ago), bought by someone who thinks it would look cute on me. Do you hate me now?

The Lame One (with bad grammars and such!)

So i haven't been updating this blog for like what... a month?
Who cares anyway? Unless i'm one of those social ladder climbers who tries to impress everyone with her "somebodyness". Ok, am being a cynic.
This is where i talk and write rubbish. This is not where i try to have some influence on some people who don't know to differentiate between fakeness and "real-ness". This is the territory where i try to do nothing more than just rambling about things. No judgement. So what, if they drop some nasty comments?

So yeah, i gained 2kg (of muscle) more since the past few weeks. Good, hey? I'm also very excited to start the PT course real soon - too excited till i got the date wrong. Ha!
And hmm..i started taking up yoga, although i haven't been doing it consistently, i promise to go to one class a week ( at least!) when everything is settled down. Thanks to these two goddesses, Dona and Ninie who introduced me to this wonderful thing called Yoga. Who would have thought!

The migraine occurance hasn't gone down though. Not a tiny bit. I've been procrastinating, but i actually have been meaning to check out acupuncture. No harm trying i guess, especially when i have to deal with the regular attack almost every other day. Now this is chaotic. The thing they say about sex being a remedy--- utter rubbish!

Oh, speaking of obsession and/or having some fetish. I think i've been so much in love with Washington Apple, lately. Well..hehe..once you go Americano, you never go back! LOL! ( i know this "LOL" bit might be annoying, but i'm actually LOLing at this very moment!)
And yes, i still love easting rice porridge, with the regular condiments of course ( fried anchovies, shallots and sometimes potatoes). Orgasmic!

On another note, yes i still have to remind myself about getting rid of all those unused dresses/clothes. "Or sell them!" , says Nabila. But i haven't done it of course.

To sum it all up, i'm still a procrastinator. Do you still love me?

First Times To Remember Forever

Unlike most girls, i love reading men's magazine, particularly Men's Health. Why? Well, guess you can figure that out pretty easily. I just love the masculine side of me, minus the asshole-ness of course. Anyway, in this month's issue of Men's Health, they're featuring "First Times To Remember Forever" in The Guy_List section.

Check out mine:

Realizing that my dad is not a Superman
Hell yeah. My dad is pretty much a fucktard 40% of the time. I think i was about 11 when i realized what sort of man he is. Definitely, not the Super kind of man.

Going to a football game
It wasn't Goodison Park or Anfield, but it was our very own Stadium Paroi in Seremban, Negeri Sembilan. I was focusing more on the cute butts running around in the field though. But yeah, it was heartstopping, and i was having massive goosebumps.

Finishing a difficult novel
It was "Brida" by Paulo Coelho. Being a not so clever sort of person, i was frowning and frowning as i was reading every word written. But i feel better when i found out that i wasn't the only one who couldn't easily understand the book. Hehhe... phew.. at least i know i'm normal!

Negotiating a pay rise
Well they say "all you need to do is ask" . But as soon as i had the guts to do it, my sense of insecurity kicks in. And yes guys, my boss at that time told me to fuck off.

Hosting a dinner party
It was a good one (the food), and i feel as though i'm officially civilized. BUT i was gutted when 50% of my guests who RSVP'ed didn't show up . Oh well, i could only try, right?

Opening my first payslip
I felt like i was going to get married. I ran to the locker room ( i was an aspiring engineer at that time), with a deep breath, i felt so liberated - similar feeling like having the best orgasm i've ever had in my life. Orgasmic. Undescribable.

At the driver's seat
I never felt so powerful ( well, i steal this line from the original article in Men's Health). Although it wasn't the kind of horse power i was hoping to be maneuvering in, but i was satisfied.

Patted on the back
There was more than just a paycheck, absolutely- when i realized i've studied/worked so hard that i've forgotten about the rewards. It meant so much to me that it made me cry. 1991, my English teacher, Miss Selvi patted me on my back, for scoring 98% in her " pass or die" English test.

Getting dumped or rejected
The phrase "he's just not that into you" is wayyy long forgotten. But i remember the first boy i ever fancied, Affendy, was telling me that i looked like a pig. Sad, but a few sex appeals later ( in my vocabulary it means a few good years later), he thought i was a complete knockout. Ha.. the power of tits.

Saying no
And meant it. Usually this is sex related, so yes - saying no to something extremely tempting is hard, but i never felt so relieved as soon as i walked away.

Getting tested
The scare. Oh. Whether it was a disease related or an exam result, they have always made me so unbelievably nervous. I remember getting myself scanned ( CAT scan to be precised) a few years back ( just because i thought i had a brain tumor or something). Me and my lover at that time were laughing like there's no tomorrow after we got the result when he said "D, it's proven that you have a brain. Yayyy!". How hilarious was that?

Falling in love
It was beautiful, my first time. One advice though - don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you

* Credit to Men's Health magazine, May issue

So Close, But Yet So Far

I almost had it, but not quite
I nearly got it, but it slipped away

It has always been too good to be true
Without it, i feel so blue!

The Product Wishlist

I'm aching to have these products in Malaysia.


Why bother raising so much awareness about breast and cervix cancer if you don't even care about what you wear underneath? Sigh. Many women don't even realize how important this is. Eww.. discard those granny undies already.


The last time i had pancakes for breakfast was about a month ago. Jeez. You call that pancakes? Shame on you La Bodega, that's what i call burned rubber in a plate, enhanced by maple syrup. I want iHop!

A soup junkie i am. And i just love slurping most types of soups. The chicken noodle in Panera, is to dine for. That's the real deal, baby.
Oh yes. The most accurate answer for chapped lips. One tube will last me about a year.
Speaking of flaws. I have plenty. This part is one of them- i have to airbrush my legs. Too bad this product is so unheard of in Malaysia. They smoothen your legs, as flawless as Photoshop, baby!

I Had A Life, But Facebook Ate It

How often do you think that Facebook is evil?

How many times you've been tagged but you're actually not in the pictures? Not to forget, how many times do you feel disgusted by your own self when you realize how hideous you look in some pictures?, but you're tagged anyway! ---------------->remove tag!

And how do you know that no one is keep tracking on your whereabouts?

Yes, it's cruel, isn't it?

All the status updates, uploaded pictures and events attended are widely shared among Facebookers (you can also blame your own privacy settings). You feel violated, because you feel as though people have been talking about you - referring to their intriguing statuses.

But yet, you're still a Facebook addict. You are me!

The RM360 Worth Of Smile

They suck. They really do. They say money can't buy happiness. Then i suppose they either don't have great hair or don't know the right stores to shop.
A lot of things that have been happening since the past few weeks, and i was constantly told by a few people that i "don't look good anymore". Point taken, and i am not offended either. True indeed, i impersonate a skinny bitch who needs a makeover really bad.

So today i make my first visit to the hair salon since three weeks ago. Tangled, dry and some serious split ends there. One hair treatment later, i feel like a gazillion dollar person. And it only costs me RM360 to get my smile back.

Voila!

Love

Have i mentioned how bad i am as a partner/lover? I then, compensate that feeling of not being a good partner by being a moderately responsible "mother".

She makes a better person in some ways. I treat her like a human being. I even speak and talk to her like i talk to any other person i care about. She tests my patience in so many different ways, but she also changes a lot of things about me as a person.

Perhaps, soon enough i'll be able to have these kind of anak-anak. :-)

The Coffeeshop Etiquette

So there i was, trying to have some light lunch in KLCC Starbucks, when i discovered the ridiculousness of the unethical web surfers aka ignorant dumbasses.

You have been sitting there for at least 2 hours but only order ONE freakin' drink that doesn't cost more than RM6. Cheapo!

You patronize the cafe because you love the atmosphere, and if you are making use of the cafe's facilities, you should keep on ordering - otherwise, you are taking up valuable space another patron could be making use of. BUT, this is NOT happening. You people are just so ignorant! You take advantage of the free Wi-Fi, stealing the bandwidth, read the magazines for hours. Hello?

How about a genuine customer like me who wants to have lunch and give them real business?
At this moment i'm just so embarrased for being Malaysian. Fuck Malaysians.

If I Were A Boy

1) I'll give her all the affection she longs for
2) I'll give her the BEST kiss ever
3) I'll hold her hands like there's no tomorrow
4) I'll cook for her at least once in a couple of weeks
5) I'll serenade to her even though i have no idea how the lyrics go
6) I'll shave my balls when asked
7) I'll let her be herself, even when she's at her worst
8) I'll call her name when i make love to her
9) I'll tell her how beautiful she looks every now and then
10) I'll listen to her everytime, not only when she moans during our intercourse
11) I'll let her dress me up, and pick up the best attire for me
12) I'll let her be my biggest critic
13) I'll buy her the best diamond ring i can afford
14) I'll pamper her like mommy pampers her fat kid
15) I won't be a committment phobic

Music and Me

So i just got back from town, traffic was a nightmare, and weather was shit. Just like every other time, when i'm caught in traffic, i'll try to make the best out of it.
Music. With some not so bad playlists i have in the car, you guys can actually call me "Dj" . A perfect time killer, instead of getting pissed off with the common horrendous traffic, i choose to ignore it by pumping up the beats. Dona, actually once quoted " Getting into your car is like stepping into club Twentyone". Not true. They don't play dangdut there, hon!

Ups and downs, thick and thin, happy and sad moments. Music. I wouldn't call myself a person who knows a lot about it, but i like to listen to what my ears prefer to hear. I used to be this little puppy who turns to Limewire to download a lot of sappy sad love songs every time i was heartbroken. How lame was that? I will play "Knife" by Rockwell like there's no tomorrow.. and a few other corny Malay songs that no one would even want to hear!

This very day, i try to stay with my happy thoughts. Happy thoughts, and happy thoughts. And happy music of course, will at least make you forget your sorrow for a moment, if not forever. I can't sing, but always getting dragged to karaokes, and all i can sing are some numbers of Britney and Backstreet Boys, while the rest are hitting the atmosphere with Oleta Adams or Alicia Keys hits. I don't care though, at least some people are laughing!

And there's my nightlife. I'm music blind actually, i don't know much, but i know what i like, and i treasure the hang outs with my girls by enjoying the music they play in those clubs. Some are cool, some aren't, even making me fall asleep. Some i can dance to, some just make me want to sit at the bar and stare at the non existent cute guys. But some, just makes you want to go home and have sex with someone. Blame the DJs.

And i'm home alone now, Hotel Costes Vol 7 is conquering the ambience. It makes me feel at ease, just as much as Housexy makes you feel sexy. As i'm typing this, i also attempt to listen to a few tracks from an excellent French movie - Les Choristes, which is about a teacher who effectively touched his students' life and heart through music. See- how music changed people's life.

I never dreamed of being a musician since i'm just a talentless little monkey with horrible taste in music. But i wish i could play at least a musical instrument, like..... violin? Or maybe flute?

Speaking of talent, i know some great people around me whose music is their soul. Some DJ friends for instance, are really enjoying what they do, and that's amore! Their love and passion for music!

Ouch, it's 10pm and i haven't decided on which dress to wear later for going out, and for the first time ever, i can't rely on Amy Winehouse. Her fashion sense, hell-o???

Romi! Play James Morrison's already!!!!

10 Things To Do Before You Die (Exotica's Version)

1) Marry someone rich

2) Bungee jumping

3) Get a rhinoplasty

4) Sleep with someone famous

5) Visit Las Vegas

6) Get paid for sex

7) Be in the dumbest reality TV show just to get embarrassed

8) Kiss a total stranger

9) Hit a jackpot

10) Watch Slumdog Millionaire

And I'm Just A Girl Afterall..

Ok, this is so not me. Deep in thoughts, reminiscing and keep walking down the memory lane. But can i blame it on February? Oh so lame!!

So what's with the love quotes and sappy love songs in the playlist? That must have meant something? Oh well... I'm just a normal girl, afterall. I fall in love, fall out of love.. or even worse, almost never believe in love!

So this is why i love Photobucket hahahha, they make my life easier when it comes to pimping my blog entry. Type the keyword, and hit the "search" button. So i found these templates. The words are kinda girly, but they captured my attention, and they are unsurprisingly true.

They say true love happens once in a lifetime, but what if you experience true love more than once? And if you were to stay with only one person for the rest of your life, i think that would be so boring! Monogamy? Ermmm....

Like Dr Seuss says, you know that you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams!

He.She.It.They.We

"Oh.. have you been gossiping aboout my ex girlfriend?"
" And i heard you are an evil psychopath?"
" Is it true that you have some voodoo dolls?"
" So what did he say about me?"
" Please tell me who told you that!!"
" I swear to God i never badmouthed about you!"

She said this...he said that.... (and counting)....

At the end of the day, faith is what you need to have. Friends are the ones you going to run to. True friends. Not acquaintances, party buddies or people you rub shoulders with in the clubs. Your true friends will never judge you, let alone talking behind your back. A true friend never cheats, a good partner will never turn his back at you.
You have many choices. You can choose forgiveness over revenge, joy over despair.

My favourite quote of the week , to share:
“The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.” —Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

Bruised, but not broken (yet).
Aida

It's Villain-tine Time

Overrated, absofuckinlutely.
Most awaited day, what the heck? Get married or pop the question on that day? Come on people!
And i'm disgusted by red roses, and the restaurants overbooking. And everything, almost.

I'm not a big fan of the whole V day thing, but i like the togetherness bit. And of course, the gifts part.

This year will be a non romantic V day.
I've loved and lost.
People come and go, they said hi and bye.

What's the point here? I feel alienated, not because i don't have a date!
I don't celebrate many things. That makes me an extremely choosy motherfucker.

But my babes, let's paint the town red!

The One With My Sinful Crushes

My very first huge crush i had was on my English teacher when i was in Form 3, Mr Nazly Joned. My heart's pumping whenever i see him, and i got this unbelievably sweaty plams everytime we make eye contact. While every other cute girls in my school were finding their own excuses to get closer to him, i was just admiring him from far- knowing that it's impossible for him to pay attention to an ugly girl like me, and plus he's my teacher. I remember coming home from school one day, and keep staring and my marked English exercise book all night! Good thing is, i got good grade due to the hotness of the teacher. Motivation! ( And as a matter of fact, i have stopped wondering why i got bad grades in Maths!).
Mr Joned is believed to be a surgeon now, somewhere.

Then i moved on to Affendi, the boy that i first laid eyes on when i was in Standard 5, but i didn't realize i was so much into him until i was 16. But again, having a crush on someone like him is a sin, unless you're a very popular cute girl that everybody wants to get close to in school. Affendi will only turn to me when he needs help with his English vocabulary, or when he forgot to bring his text books. A few makeovers later, we bumped into each other back in our kampung, he almost didn't recognize me. He is now married, and expecting his first baby anytime soon.

And of course, the undeniably huge crush i have on Enrique Iglesias still remains. Could anyone be hotter than him? Jawdropping.

Sorry, and Thank You

Dear God,

Sorry for questioning your existence.

Dear McDonald's customer service girl,

Sorry that i yelled at you. It wasn't intentional. I was low on sugar, hence the the grumpiness.

Dear Mr P,

Sorry that you have to deal with my mood swings, i wish i was born perfect.

Dear guys at the dance floor,

Excuse my sarcasm, i just hate when people ask me what do i do for a living and where i'm from. When i hang out and chill:
Rule number 1 = don't ask questions.
Rule number 2 = refer to rule number 1.

Dear certain people,

Thank you and thank you again, for even checking out this shitty blog. It seems to me that i should feel so grateful for having at least a few people who really "care" about what i'm up to. If i'm really that lame and boring, i don't think i would even allow those anonymous comments to be posted.

Dear friends,

Thank you for your support.

Dear foes,

Thank you as well.

So Help Them God

I know i haven't seen You for a while
I know i haven't been good
I know i've lost my faith in You
I know that i'm sometimes a non believer
I know i haven't prayed for decades
I know i don't deserve a lot of things..



* Photos- credit to Photobucket.com

But dear God,
If you do exist, like how they convinced me that You do...
Please...save them all.
If i could ever ask for a thing at this moment, that would be peace for their soil and land.
So help me God.
Amen.

* Neither Jewish morality nor Jewish tradition can be used to disallow terror as a means of war*
- Yitzhak Shamir

The One With The TV Series

Addictive.
I remember watching them whe i was still in school, but due to the " switch off the TV at 10pm" rule at that time, i missed out on a lot of the initial episodes. I started watching them again a few years back, giggling my ass off, and i turn to them everytime i feel shitty or in need of an entertainment. Still, this is one of the most entertaining and unforgettable TV show for me.
"How you doin" ? Still, laughter is the best medicine!



Seductively electrifying.
Being a hedonist myself, it doesn't take a while for me to be glued in front of my TV screen, having French fries in bed, while watching Nip/Tuck. The sex scenes, the greed and amazingly beautiful people in it, just never stop to fascinate me. One thing though, you'll feel as though you need something done on your body if you're too occupied watching this. Haha.



Phenomenal. That's it.
I turn on my DVD player and just randomly pick any episodes and press the "play" button. I know it'd entertain me somehow. I remember one time when i just got out of a relationship, feeling like the ugliest girl on the planet, but as soon as i watch a few episodes, i was all geared up to go out and have fun. Oh well, the dresses, the shoes...
And yes, how can i forget Samantha's cougarism?



Inspiring.
I haven't finished all of the season, but i have to say that this show has a great impact on me. I was single, on my own, just started to live by myself..when i first watching this show. I kinda like the idea of having an inconsistent relationship with my superior at work. Or maybe, if only that person is Derek Shepherd. Oh well..

* All photos credit to Photobucket.com

Ex and The City

Probably one of the most controversional entry i've ever made here. But yes, when you are someone who goes out very often, patronizing Changkat Bukit Bintang especially, you'll find yourself amused by a lot of things.

You end up hanging out with your ex's friends, or your friends' ex. Like, seriously. KL is too small to even avoid this scenario. Next thing you know, you're actually chatting up some girl who happened to be your friend's fling. But that's okay, because the worst thing that could happen is, you're gonna have a good laugh! Or MAYBE, your good friend is actually yor ex's fiance. Hahaha how about that?

"Oh..so the you two know each other?"

" So that means you went out with him before me? And when is that? February, March 2007?"

"So how did you guys meet?"

"Did you know that your boyfriend and i used to hang out together?"

Well oh well. If you're not strong enough to hear all this, you'll be miserable hearing about what people have got to say. Point is, gossips will remain as gossips, it will fly around for quite sometimes, but it sure will disappear if you don't pay attention to them.

My buddies, anchovies and I

It's the usual Wednesday afternoon in the office, you feel sick and tired of facing a reality called " W O R K".
A little getaway to town might be a good idea, kan? Plus, i still have to return Riena's sexy flip-flop or she'll kill me for not being able to take it with her to Sydney tonight.

There i was. With Riena, Matt and Claudia, chit-chatting like there's no tomorrow in Delicious @ Marc Residences (oh well, except Matt was quite occupied by his iPhone activity) . Hmm we all know how much i love salty things i.e belacan and anchovies. Just that it never occured to me - a four small strands of extra anchovies will cost RM10! Jesus fucking Christ!

In the middle of having great lunch with these good people, i was choked by this ridiculosity. I'm not a cheapo, and i normally don't mind paying extra, but RM10 for something that looks like my pubic hair???

Same Crap, Different Year

No new resolutions. Only new dresses and new vows.
Like the Thais say "same same but different".

I don't know what will 2009 bring, but certainly yes, i look forward to turn 30. Not trying to sound cool or whatever, but i guess 30 is a good age to step into the real adulthood. Yes folks, i know i haven't been acting like my age lately, but it's just that i'm having a lot of fun, and it brings out the babyness in me.

"Act like my age, and not my shoe size"

It's not impossible, but it takes a lot of effort though. The poor judgments, bad decisions - they lead me to BIG temptations.
Urghh.

Misplaced Childhood

Oh my, i have been having so much fun since the past few weeks. Blame the awesome friends, clubs and shops in KL.

Do i tend to bring out the child in me? Yes! In fact, I have to do more work to bring out the adult in me most days. I love being silly.

Didn't know life can be this fun! Where did i misplace my childhood? Did i even have one, at the first place? NO.

But yes, i still believe that i can be Santa.

And Yet Another Christmas

With Christmas just around the corner, i can't help but thinking why do i get more excitement more than when it was Hari Raya?
Well maybe, during Raya, i spend money on people, and during Christmas.. money is spent on me tehehhehee... Boy, do i love presents!

Or perhaps, i just love the jolly feeling everywhere- in the malls, office or even while you're stucked in KL traffic. The Christmas spirit is overwhelming. The variations of Christmas tree - some exorbitant, some nice, some are tacky and ugly. But above all, a celebration is a celebration. It's the tree that counts. True?

I must admit that i have been having a pretty good time lately. Lucky to have all the great people around me to celebrate this togetherness with. Thank you, all. Happy Christmas to everyone, and may 2009 brings more and more happiness to us.

P/S - I failed to find the kinkiest picture of me in Santarina outfit, so i'll make it up to you guys next year..hehe..

Breaking a Habit

Just finished watching "Breaking and Entering". It got me thinking, that breaking isn't always a bad thing. Breaking a habit for instance, is something i've always been trying to.

Off topic:

1) Coffee - this would probably sound like an exaggeration, but i have not drank coffee for at least couple of years. All of a sudden, i would like to imagine what is the worst case scenario if i have some... and i did. Fantastically, i did not get a migraine or headache.

2) Perfumes - again, due to my terrible migraine, i was allergic to most perfume scents. But, being an ultimate risk taker, i bought a few bottle of Marina de Bourbon, and strangely enough, i feel fine. Thanks to Mr P for the Escada - Incredible Me, too.

See - it's all in your head. Keep telling yourself you can't do this and that, the result will be unsuprisingly negative. Now i really wanna break this habit of being too negative at times. When it comes down to it, the great desire to change is the major part in quitting any habit.

Too many to list down, i guess my nose picking habit is the hardest one to break. And also when it comes to spending money ridiculously, i think i probably need to have a super damn good reason to really break it.

Are We Really That Horny?

What did your mama tell you when you just reached puberty?
a) Keep your dick in your pants?
b) Don't be promiscuous ?
c) Whatever you do, just use protection?

Eh?
Right, so we are talking about sex here today. Big deal, no? Sex is also like the air that we breathe in, and like the favourite food that we consume. So why the rigidity and hypocrisy? Everyone loves sex, who doesn't?

So what if you call me a pervert. Not everyone can talk about this openly, eh? Don't you feel annoyed sometimes when someone keeps saying stuff like " It's not nice to talk about this openly, we should consider our culture".
Culture my ass. You are club hopping and snogging with a few different guys every week, and you're talking culture? Get a grip, dude.

Question is, are we really that horny to talk about this so openly? I guess it ain't about hornyness, it's more about not being so comfortable discussing about "it" openly. But why? Isn't sex is just another act? Just like eating and running? Why the difference?

I am always horny anyway. Take that.

Why $$$$$ ?

And so i'm judged by some people just because i say that i'm materialistic? Oh well.
Here, in case you haven't noticed :

Materialist = a person who is markedly more concerned with material things than with spiritual, intellectual, or cultural values
* Source - dictionary.com

And what is so bloody wrong with that? No one died!

Some girls are just born lucky, methinks. Guys, if you have problem to cater to your woman's need, then you suck! And girls, if you judge people like me, perhaps you're just jealous. Don't give me this "money is not important" shit. You know you love the blings, so stop bullshitting.

Baskin Robbins, James Morrison and I

Arghhhh the crazy long week, the annoying work related phone calls when i'm chilling, and how flabbergasted i am by the stupid dramas around KL.

So there was I, procrastinating as usual, and felling like shit for not being taken seriously. The bimboness, perhaps?
I sat down quietly in my desk, contemplating the next best thing...until i realised it's already 8.45pm. God knows how i felt.. stressed, mentally exhausted and i know i shouldn't be feeling that way.

Rushed myself to the nearest Baskin Robbins, listening to James Morrison's numbers... I felt awesome! God i just love my life, how simple things can easily change the way you feel sometimes.

How Perverted A French Man Can Be?

"If you are Aida Kamsuri, can you help me to resolve this: You are the only one that could"

That was the first line of your email, sent to my general work email address. For sure i am not flattered, even so, that is the tackiest way of flattering a girl. Not sure where and when did you see me, but i really am not impressed.

Insinuating that i am the type of girl that accepts the classic "bla..bla..bla.." ..You think i would be attracted to your "invitation to spend an evening" with you "at any cost". YOU think i can be blinded by this so called French charms. Yes i do love beautiful things, and yes, do i love beautiful French men! But you?? Excuse moi?

Congratulations though, for successfully ruining my decent morning at work, and yeah dude, i was incredibly disturbed (and insulted).

Je vous suggere plutot le Beach Club pour avoir des demoiselles at any cost! You can't buy me.

Want

I want to hold hands with him.
I want to be able to walk down the street and have that biggest smile on my face.
Yes, today is all about what i want.
I want this, i want that, i want it all.

Untitled

While talking to me and i looked

Time stopped instantly

Your voice commanded and i obeyed

As i breathed, wanting your lips

Your fingers ran through my hair

.

.

.

But when i woke up, i'm still the same old, untouched me.

Drool Over

In my 2009 wishlist perhaps?

* Picture - credit to Mitsubishi Motors

My Quantum of Solace

Is it hard to find peace?
Is it normal to feel ok when you're bruised?
Or is it because i'm just numb?

I drove down to the memory lane on Saturday, reminiscing - all the worst and bitter memories i collected for the past ten years. I still am, tortured, for not being able to be myself when i am around certain people. It's easier said than done, of course. I can't simply be me. I just fuckin can't.

Taking my emotional state into account, i need a quantum of solace.

The One With My Tantrums

I feel violated. And the the euphoric feeling still lingers.
I couldn't help it.
No doctor, don't misdiagnose me with epilepsy.

"I was angry with my friend, I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe, I told him not, my wrath did grow."
- William Blake

Hamilton vs Obama

This thought came to me just a few seconds ago.
The things they have in common.
Their victories .
Their backgrounds.

( I am still celebrating)

P/S - I'm not Hamilton's fan, but i think he deserved what he's got. And, i'm a Republican at heart, but supporting Obama is very practical.

The One With My Gender

" But how come "she" has a voice of a woman?"
" The surgeon did a very good job on you huh?"
" I can't believe you get a tracheal shave!"

Not sure how should i take it, but i never get upset. 35% could be compliments, and the rest of them are just taking the piss out of me. But i'm fine, i really am.

The One With The Push Up Bra

" What is your cup size?"
"Are you always wearing push ups?"
"Can you share with me your secret of having perky breasts?"
"ARE THOSE REAL?"

Urmm... Don't be fooled by the junk that i've got, they are actually NOT that huge. Why breasts? And not knees, elbows or ankles?

The One With The Lamest Pick Up Lines

" You tak nak menari ke ? "
" Are you Indonesian?"
" Are you from KL?"
" What do you do for a living?"

I Want Jalan Alor Back!!

I couldn't help but protesting against the name change of Jalan Alor to JALAN KEJORA. ?????
Not only causing MAJOR confusion, but this is also what i call stupidity. Why not concentrate on the image/structure of Jalan Alor? Why the change? For such an establishment, it is heartbreaking to even start calling it by a new name. JALAN KEJORA. What the fuck?

What kind of image "Jalan Kejora" gives that Jalan Alor hasn't delivered? For all this while, i've been so proud of recommending my expat/tourist friends what the real foods are, and i still want to say, Jalan Alor it is!

Keane says "I'll meet you in the morning when you wake.."

............. If only i meet The One

Pause

Alright stop, collaborate and listen...

The Emancipation of A 29 Year Old Girl

I wasn't born this way.
I didn't have the confidence i've always been craving for.
I didn't have this long straight hair.
It's complicated.

As i turn 29 today, i pretty much realized that there are a lot of things i should be thankful for. My life is not at the best stage at the moment, but i somehow i know that this is not the end of the world.

I am emancipated. I may not be the coolest person in the world, but i know there are some people out there who wish that they had what i have today.

Happy birthday to me.

... And Yet Another Thank You!

When was the last time you make a really good purchase, and left you with a very good feeling?
I love this note, where it didn't give a bad feeling after spending couple of hundred dollars!
More dresses to come!

When A Thank You Is Good Enough

I am not that bad after all. Despite my constant outbursts in the office, i still get my job done (almost perfectly) most of the time. And these thank you notes from the clients, mean so much to me, even mean a lot more than Ted Baker dresses .. - (ok, that's a lie) Ha!

When Being Yourself Is Getting You Nowhere

How often do people tell you to just be yourself?
How frequent do they ask you to just go with the flow and suit yourself with the situation?

Apparently when people tell you to act like yourself, you often get into trouble e.g being judged or receiving massive critisms. Being a narcissist, i found myself quite comfortable with what i do or how i say things. But that doesn't particularly mean that other people are happy with it. Someone may say "Arghhh fuck it lah, if they don't like it, then ..too bad!" Errr i am not that ignorant (yet).

Surprisingly today, i heard some funny rumours about me being so promiscuous, auwww!! Some incredibly positive people that i know, suggest that i should take it as a compliment. Reason being - fuglies can't be promiscouos! Good job, mates!

Who did even decide that flirting is a bad thing? Oh, maybe just being "chatty" and ridiculously "friendly" are categorized as flirting. The thing is, i don't even think that flirting is bad after all (unless you are really suck at flirting)

Someone might agree that there is nothing wrong with being outspoken, but the problem is, you will be labeled as an asshole, a cunt, or a selfish bitch after that. I've got that a lot, and actually quite amused with the fact that people just loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee talking about gossipy stuffs.

Oh well.

Admiring Paulo Coelho

Someone gave me The Alchemist years ago, and i found myself "in love" with Coelho ever since. Being an internet junkie and Facebook addict, i came across his page, and it sends regular updates from time to time. Below is one of the most interesting thing i read yesterday:

The Culture of Fear
So it seems that we are living in a culture of fear. Before it was the terrorist attacks and now we see this economic crisis that engulfs the whole world.My point is that we understand less and less what is happening. Personally, the more I read about this crisis the more I get lost.
Don’t you have the feeling that besides our personal fear, there’s an atmosphere of doubt that is imposing this world of crisis to us? "
Read more at - http://paulocoelhoblog.com/
It got me thinking, do i really have to live in fear, and why am i sometimes a worrier?


I like the fact that a very special individual like Coelho are super capable in touching people's life, by his outstanding writings, which are so inspiring to millions. It means much more than being a burlesque dancer who stupidly thinks she has touched people's life by shaking her booty ( refering to Kimberly Wyatt of Pussycat Dolls).

If only i had the same gifted talent!

P/S - I haven't given up on Tony Parsons yet, even though some people think i'm an idiot for liking his books!

Make A Guess

Dudes and duchesses,

What is that thing in the picture? Yes, the round thingy. What message am i trying to get across?

If you get it right, a reward is waiting!!

When Death Really Do Us Part....

The scent of rose water,recitals of Surah Yassin and glimpse of sun on first of Syawal welcomed me there. My heart beats so fast, my hands were shaking. I miss her so, very much so.



On that fateful day in 2004, God has taken her away. Yes indeed, she was my very best friend. I felt as though my sanity has gone away. Failed to accept Qada' and Qadar, i mourned for a very long time, reminiscing every single moment i had with her. And every time i pass by that bus stop near our school, i will cry my heart out.




I'm so sorry for not fulfilling your wish right before you die.
I'm so sorry i didn't see you that often.
I'm so sorry that i gave you empty promises.
I'm so sorry for everything that you had gone through in your life.
I'm so sorry about your sufferings.

The term "best friend" has got no meaning since you been gone. I've never needed one, as much as i needed you. I will love you till the day i die, my dear friend.


Al - Fatihah.
Norazura Zulkefly ( 6.2.1979 - 17.1.2004)

When Hari Raya Is Around The Corner And I Haven't Felt The Spirit

I still can't relate myself with ketupat and rendang.
I still haven't prepared anything for Tuesday balik kampung.
I am still contemplating my Raya mood.

When My Weird Fetish Doesn't Really Make Any Sense

Introducing my new obsession - Thom Yorke.
Notice the droopy left eyelid, resulted from a botched surgery. Cute!

I obviously have some weird fetish in men. While men in glasses still topping my chart, i also love some imperfections they have, which make them very, very unique. See Yorke's teeth above - yummm!

Didn't my day just get better? Paranoid Android.

When I Realized That I'm Still A Realist

* Image -credit to photobucket.com

-When you're not living life on the edge, you are taking up too much space

- Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.Ha!

- Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
( eh, am quite an optimist. Who created this hilarious quote anyway?)

- Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now
(oh, tell me bout it!)

- Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Tehehehehehe!!

- It's not cheating unless you get caught. Yikes!

- The hottest love has the coldest end.

- Two things in life that hurts very much:
1 . When someone loves you but do not tells you.
2 . When someone do not love you but tells you.

- Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
- what's so bad about procrastinating anyway?

- I am the master of my fate, i am the captain of my soul

- Breaking up is like being buried but not dying

- In order to be irreplaceable, you must always be different.

Note : On a Tuesday morning, i keep pondering, what if God really doesn't like me. Knowing that i have so much to live for, what if love doesn't find me? Is being a realist gonna send me to the one i longed for? Oh well, whatever it is, shitty day can't keep a good man down. I am good.

When Life Is A Bunch Of Song Lyrics

I try to say gooodbye and i choke
I try to walk away and i stumble

Wishlist(s)

Dress of the month. Haven't found it!

Got this dress. Thanks to someone's patience!

Big credit goes to Karen Millen website.

My Lamest Entry Ever

I sometimes love Monday, just like today. Want to blog, but no can do, so i copied this from Ann :
( i edited some qustions though)

1. Rate your life from 1-10 (10 being very miserable)
4

12. Is your hair long or short?
Long enough for a hot catfight weeeeeee!!

3. Do you have many real friends?
I wouldn't say 'many'

4. Name friends you last hung out with?
Joanne

5. Do you love cheese?
No!

6. Last three drinks you had?
English breakfast tea, lemon juice, iced Milo

7. Do you eat stingray?
No, it killed Steve Irwin

8. Do people mispronounce or spell your name incorrectly?
No

9. Who was the last person you hugged?
Mr President

10. Last guy you think about?
Mr President

11. Anything that made you smile today?
My new dress that i'm wearing

12. Name one thing you have in common with your friends?
Good sense of humour

13. Do you trust your friends?
Not all of them ( and i don't have many)

14. How old will you be in five years?
34

15. Do you believe in love?
Depends who i am with

16. Except for family and friends, who are you in love with?
Mr President

17. Do you honestly believe you have found the right guy/girl?
I don't know

18. Are you someone’s best friend?
Don't think so

19. Do you love music?
I have bad taste in music

20. Last song you listened to?
Disturbia- Rihanna

21. What’s the instrument you wish you were able to play?
Violin and guitar

22. Who was the last person you talked to?
Anne

23. Who was the last person to call you?
Mr President

24. Would you consider yourself a worrier?
Yes

25. Do you consider yourself as a happy person?
Naturally, i am.

26. Do you believe in saving yourself for marriage?
No way

27. Last person that pissed you off?
The Astro guy

28. From whom have you missed the most calls in the last 5 days?
8 missed calls from Dona and Astro guy

29. Who’s the first person you call when you’re having a bad day?
Mr President, Dona

30. Last person who made you laugh like crazy?
Myself!

31. Who’s your greatest inspiration in life?
My dresses

32. Are you a good guesser?
Yes

33. Who was the last person to sing your current favorite song and what song?
No one and no song

34. Who makes you laugh the most?
D

35. What have you been telling yourself lately?
Paycheck is in 15 days

When He Says Nothing At All

I came, i saw, i conquered - Him.
He 'came' , he saw, he conquered - Me.

He's constantly bombarded with all the flaws i have, but instead of criticizing, he made me a better person. In other words, he puts me at ease.

Do opposites really attract?

I am messy, he is super organized.
I love impromptus, he loves planning.
I am a narcissist, he is a chauvinist. (honey don't hate me for this!)
I love torn, ripped jeans, he loves Hermes.
I love it waxed, he loves it bushy!

Calmer. I am. When he says nothing at all.

When There Is Too Much Drama

For instance, on Facebook's status, people say:

"........ is wondering if John could come over tonight"

" ......does not know what to eat for lunch"

" ... is thinking of wearing red socks for our first date"

or even worse

".. is wondering if the company can pay me more than i expected?"

"... is going to pee very soon.."

Errrr okay. I know that i am also changing my status frequently, but i don't think i ever go into details about what color my undies are. I feel like puking.

Come on people, too much drama! Spare the details just for yourselves!

When Hindi Movie Is All I think About..

That was then. Many years ago. When all i can watch repeatedly were Dil To Pagal Hai, Mann, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge, Mohabbatein and Akele Hum Akele Tum (just to name a few).

* One of my favourite Hindi movie of all time. Year 2000. Photo- credit to imdb.com

Hindi movie produced these last few years? Ewww... talentless Malika Sherawat is a whore, while the sizzling hot Bipasha Basu still doesn't make the industry back to the way it was - during the Bollywood heydays.

Back in the 60's and 70's? HOT. I wonder if they have someone who resembles Rajesh Khanna now!



There goes my memory to my late friend, Norazura. I miss you my very true friend, and all i hope now is that you are resting in peace. Don't worry, i'm still able to sing along the Mann soundtracks. Al-Fatihah.

Why Do Guys Think That A Chick With Gun Is HOT?

* Expecting answers.

Fix Me

When i try to run but i can't escape

When i have what i want but not what i need

When i feel so exhausted but i can't quit..

Stuck in reverse..

When My Job Has Taken Its Toll On Me..

Dear Blog,



No, i am not about to air my own dirty laundry in public. But my job, has made me really really unhappy and stressed out since the past few months. No satisfaction, and i don't feel whole anymore.



I am also thinking of the consequences if i quit before i get a new job, as we speak. The curse has always been there. When you quit before you secure a new position somewhere else, you ALMOST can't get a better one. I have always been a working person, and haven't been jobless, so you know how it feels.



My job has taken me to a level where i really need a stress buster. I could scream like there's no tomorrow. Maybe it is not for me, or perhaps it doesn't suit me anymore. Hence, my quality of work has gone down the hill.

Oh dear blog, i just don't know what to do.

When Something Means Everything

When nothing brings everything
When simplicity means perfection
When less is actually more
When completion replaces complication

Maybe that's the magic of just being myself.

Celebrating Merdeka The Write Way..

* I am not that kind of a citizen who gets drunk when the clock turns 12am on every 31st of August.

* I am not all about starry fireworks during Merdeka eve, and i don't eagerly wait for our Independence day without even understanding what it means.

I remember "celebrating" Merdeka last year in my cramped old apartment, accompanied by Clearly Canadian sparkling water. I was all alone, single by status. I figured that if i go out and hit the clubs, create some chaos, i wouldn't be able to appreciate what have we got today.

I mean, although Malaysia has been on a political roller coaster lately, there are still many reasons for me to love it. So i sat there, on a very tiny balcony, watching all the mat rempits on their bikes, carrying Malaysian flags, but i wonder if they know what were they doing.. Then i thought, maybe it wasn't that bad at all to spend that night alone, at home. I ended up watching TV, where they show quite a number of programmes in conjunction with Merdeka celebration, and not to forget, the emotional Merdeka ads by Petronas.Owh..

The unforgettable, remarkable and historical Merdeka screams are blissfully echoing everywhere . At some point, i think i should just stop complaining. I feel blessed.

MERDEKA!!! aaaaaaaaaaa (and the longgggg echo goes on and on)

When Reality Hits ...

- You actually feel that life is so full of shit.

- You realize that life is NOT a box of chocolate. Sorry Forrest Gump, i don't eat chocolate. Even if i do, that's not good for my health.

- You'll find that everything in this world is all about MONEY

- (Prices) - Nothing ever goes down, everything goes up (including penises). Then you realize how big the burden is.

- You'll agree that when you assume something is too good to be true, then it is too good to be true.

- Fuck counselling. Fuck theraphy. Fuck anti depressants. You know what you need to do, you just need to move your ass and do something about the issue.

- I discover that people do really kiss ass to get what they want (even when they actually suck at it)


Don't bother commenting this entry, i am one angry woman right now.

Blogging Me

This is what i'm thinking of now. Don't i just miss eating them?

.. And These Are The Reasons Why I Don't Vote

1) I don't know what is right and wrong anymore. Did Anwar really sodomize that punk?

2) The lack of efficiency and competence in government departments. Every time i make a phone call or ask a question, i have to listen to a million bollocks and stupidity. Worse still, when i go to any of their counter, i will see most of the ladies either biting their nails or chatting about "macam mana nak masak gulai itu dan ini".These people are slow as hell.

3) The public transportation : Click here (credit to Effi)
- We can never compete with Singapore's buses, taxis and MRTs.

4) If i was a hostess or lounge singer, i will have possibility of getting arrested. My rice bowl is not secure anymore. Or i would even go to jail for catching a happy hour in a bar.

4) I will never get a chance to see Inul Darasista perform in Malaysia ( is that too much to ask?). Anything "too sexy" is banned, and i even had to run to Singapore to watch Christina Sexyguilera. Hahhahaa but we still have MTV, bodoh tak?

5) The media. There's no such thing as freedom of speech. What i read and see are sugar coated speech and writings. WTF.

6) The censorship. I'm done with it. Unless it's Wall E, Garfield or Shrek, i won't bother going to the cinema again.

7) Malaysians are mostly not civilized when it comes public area cleanliness . Too late to fix?

8) Red tape, red tape, red tape.

I still love this country though, but i'm still wondering what has it become?

Romi Turns Two! Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy !!!!

Romi is the greatest thing happened since meatloaf. Today, he turns two! Yayyy!!


Te quiero, Romi. I couldn't have done it without you. Men come and go, but you don't. You stayed with me through thick and thin. You see me cry, you watch me mope, and you are the most loyal companion ever. I turn to you every time someone "hoh" me, i look out for you whenever i feel like letting something out of my chest, and i often stain you with my nasty boogers when i cry (but you never complained). You even go across the globe with me, to other continents.



Happy birthday dear Romi. Guess what? I have a surprise for you!!!!

Common Sense, Customer Service, Common Sense, Customer Service

Excuse my tardiness. Forgive my lack of concentration at work. But that does not allow me to lose my common sense or change the way i treat my beloved clients who pay my salary every end of the month. Point is, how do people get away with stupidity?

Yes, my teamwork actually sucks. I do not love sharing my tasks with other people just to find out that they are not as fast as i am. I would rather be miserable for 10 hours than having to deal with incompetent people for 10 minutes. I hate to hear unfriendly tone over the phone, sounding unattentive and unsure about what to say. To me, a long pause, and an "errrrr.." are not acceptable . I am going to sound a little racist here, but please excuse my racism anyway. I encounter numerous incidents like this every other day:

( Tutt..tut..tut..tut...- phone ringing)
Receptionist ( a Chinese woman ) : Halow...
Me : Can i speak to Mr %$^& please?
Receptionist : Sorry ahh..he's not in woooo...
Me : Do you know if he'll be in later?
Receptionist : Errrrr.. i'm not sure lah Miss... you call back later can ah?

And why on earth is someone who can barely speak proper English is hired as a receptionist at a well established company? Hating the super strong Chinese accent, i found myself really annoyed and often potray my sarcasm and cynicism instead of cursing them (with style, of course).

Speaking of customer service, I was called "rude" by someone yesterday. My bad. This entry isn't all about other people, it's also about me, who sometimes loses control over stupidity. I showed my anger in a business email (and of course, the boss was cc'ed) . How do i get away with that? I don't know. Maybe i won't. But at least, i know how to make it up- that's when a common sense is greatly needed!

I'm Alright

Actually yes, i'm alright. You don't have to worry about my age. I am not sure if i'll age gracefully, but i still think that i am going to be a good ( if not perfect) mother someday.

You don't have to bear with me. I'll do whatever i like, and i'll marry when i want to get married. Why are you so concerned about my sexual partner anyway? ( No, i'm not fucking anyone famous). And why does my dating history matter so much to you? For the record, 29 is the new 19, okay?

People, Why Don't You Stop Hurting Me?

I don't want to know what are you about to tell me.
" Aida, i have something to tell you, but i don't want to hurt you"
or even nicer:
" Hey, i have a secret to tell you but i don't want to ruin your day, so why don't i let you finish your work and i'll tell you after that?"

Why don't you just stop telling me these anti climax things. What about not saying anything? Because seriously, i don't care anymore. It's good to know that I suck at giving blowjob, i suck at my work, and many more. . But i don't think i love to know about what have people been gossiping about me. My tits are real, and i'm sorry for that.

My Most Preferred Jalan

I wake, i walk, i work.
This is the jalan that i walk on the most. This is also where i spend 6 minutes of my day to walk back and forth. 3 minutes up to the office building, and another 3 when i walk down back to the apartment.

This is the jalan where the flasher flashed his weener to me.

The Art of Profanity

Curse and swear in style. I know this entry will about to get me into trouble, but as i said in a couple of entries back, this is my arena- the only place that allows me to open up and (almost) say whatever i like.

Speaking of being vulgar, i am a self proclaimed swearing queen. Often gets into trouble by using vulgar/bad languange, i think there are some circumstances where we CAN curse/swear with style. I once, frantically swear in front of some people who i respect so much, but i did not get a negative response just because they do not understand what i was saying. There - i curse in style, by not getting caught. Choice of word, choice of word, choice of word.

And here comes why i HATE typical Malays. They often make derogatory remarks that make them look cheap and uneducated. The words like "pukimak" and "lancau" are enough to make me feel ashamed being a Malay. I use words like "babi" and "pantat" , often when something really hoh just happened, which i think doesn't sound that bad.

I like profanity. Reason being, i am a stone hearted person. Bitter at times, but i haven't lost my sense of humour yet. Some people call me scary, cynical and sarcastic, but i think i know some blogger who is way more cynical than me! I am not saying that using strong languange is something we should encourage, i am just implying that we can still swear/curse (with/in style). It is OK to swear. It is also the art of letting go the frustation we have inside, which is so hoh!

I may not know what i'm getting msyelf into by talking about this openly, but i know that obscenity and indecency DO NOT make me a bad person.

*Note to Effi : Feel free to comment or correct my grammatical error. I drive myself crazy, those taboo words are banned from our local cinema and airwaves. I know how much this bothers you, too.

Annoyed (Part 2)

THREE type of people that i HATE to be around with: (for today)

- A man who has a mouth of a woman ( gossiping like there's no tomorrow, always overreacting and exaggerating things to the point where he can ruin a good friendship)

- People who FAKE their accent. I will surely be deaf if i have to hear another fake British accent. Oh please, i don't care if you are UK educated, but seriously, can't you just talk like the rest of us? (This is yet another reason for me to puke!) Unless you're Jude Law or Keira Knightley, don't even attempt to let me hear a word of English out of your mouth. Seriously, shut the fuck up.

- People who trying to great just like their other friend. Seriously, do you even know what "HOH" means?

Rubbishness

Monday it is. One of my favourite day, not.
Clad in a new dress, thanks to Mr President, i try not to let some rubbishness ruin my day.
I can't help it, i have to mention Dona here. My "hohness" means nothing without her.

Me as well, can smell a rubbishness from 99 miles away.

Butterfingered!

Emmet goes Vespa! (just like me, a Vespa enthusiast!)

Recorded on 07/08/08, Laundry. Excuse the recording, it is not so super clear, i think i was kinda distracted by how cute Emmet was.

Yes, we were butterfingered last night. I wasn't really a super big fan of them, but i have a brother who was stuffing my ears with their music eversince i was in college. Plus, i like some of their songs like Wet Blanket ( damn you Along!) , The Chemistry and 1,000 Tahun (Mahu Hidup) and just recently, i managed to memorize their Maharani:

" Mereka kate ku gile,

lagilah aku suke..

Otak ku geliga, fikiran luar biase...

Mereka kata ku samseng,

tapi ku tak ambil pusing.... bla..bla..bla.. "

I guess Maharani is so me! I just never care about what people think of me. And yes, we had so much fun last night (especially Dona). I know why.

Who Read My Blog?

Who?
Being a not so tech savvy person, has led me to some stupid thoughts sometimes. Let me hahaha first. At first, i must admit that i can't really understand the "live traffic feed" option. I was just trying to figure out how is the "traffic" going in my blog, wondering are there really some people who read this? Apparently yes, i found there are some people who even googled " aida exotica friendster", and found this blog. So i customized this page and put live traffic feed on it, contemplating some action.

Oh well, i just think that i shouldn't feel obliged to think of people's feeling when i write about certain topic here. I am me. This is my arena. This is where my freedom is, so why should i care? If you think there's too much of foul language used here, then DON'T READ. Excessive profanity? Welcome to the club, i am a rubbish provocative writer wannabe.

Dear ex lovers, haters, FILF's (hoh?), or those who don't like my way of expressing what i feel, bugger off. I pay RM68 for my internet bill, and i SHOULD fully utilized every cent of it. And, this is part of it. My rubbish blog, my shabby abode, and my only way of letting go of what keep inside.

To those who think that this is worth reading, i heart you!

P/S - My significant other- thanks for being an avid reader.

My Significant Other vs My F.I.L.F

I am going to start this entry with a hahaha.
Having been on an emotional roller coaster these last few days, i feel like writing about something that me and my friends been talking/gossiping about.

Yes, me and my significant other. Things are not perfect, of course. There are disagreements, arguments, and pissing-each-other-off sessions. And yes, i am not the best lover in the whole universe, but i hope that i do make sense sometimes. To keep my sanity, i have to agree to disagree. Compromise- that's what i've always been told to.

Me and my F.I.L.F. Do i even have one? Or maybe the non existent one. My love for living in a fantasy world has proven that life is not like a written poem on a piece of paper. Friendship with a married male friend has got its boundaries. And, there's always a price to pay when you a little too close to each other.

The point is, my significant other and the F.I.L.F do play some part in my above mentioned life.

Can i be with both? ---- NO.

When I Know She's No Longer Mine ( and the pressure is all mine)

She has always been my little sister. Indeed, i was happy to know that she was going to be married, but deep inside, i still think that she's too young to be someone's wife. Whatever it is, i have to say that i was a bit touched ( or maybe a little sad ) ..knowing that things will not be the same after this.

Though she's younger than me, she is actually much more matured than me in some ways. Same upbringing doesn't make us live the same type of life. She looked so pure and divine on her big day, i can see her feeling relieved somehow.

To you my darling sister, i dedicate my love. May Allah bless you, always. I know i haven't been a very good sister to you, but i do hope that you have chosen the best for your life. Past, present and future, you're still my girl, forever.

Dear readers : I expect no "when is your turn" kinda comment! :-)

The Signs Of Love

Image : Credit to Ayatayatcintathemovie.com

Needless to say, this is one of the best picture i've seen this year. As Wikipedia quote " Ayat Ayat Cinta is a beautifully portrayed Islamic love story – a tale of a virtuous Muslim protagonist who overcomes all obstacles of life maintaining pure ideals" , i certainly think that this is one of the best Asian movie ever made.

Won't say no more, go watch it yourself. I catched it during a long haul flight from LA, and found myself wiping off my tears as President watched, wondering if he has done something wrong.

Message from blog writer : Say No To Piracy.

..And here comes why i (have) always loved America

The gummi bears..(hahhaha)

The freedom
The people

The non pretentious departmental stores
The breakfast
Ahem. The drugs store.



Just like every other time, i hate it when i have to leave a place/destination/country that i really like. Sure i like some European countries i have visited too, but i have found out long long time ago that Uncle Sam's suits my attitude, vibrance and lifestyle. I like to live in world where i'm not judged by what wear, what i do for a living, or even by what size my bra is.

When I Know That I'm Not Being Taken Seriously

And should i start this entry by saying how frustated i am with those people who think that i am no greater than a braless bimbo?

Seriously, this hasn't been an enjoyment for me. Seeing people asking me if i know who Arnold Schwarzenegger is?What the heck, right? I may not be educated in Princeton, but hell yes, i think i can name more than a half of the Formula One drivers with their achievements and career history.

Next thing is, how do people have the guts to make an impression that i don't know who Cindy Crawford is? What a joke. Do i really look like the darker/poor version of Paris Hilton?

Don't be fooled by the looks that i've got, by thinking that i don't read, that i don't watch news and that i don't know the difference between republican and democrat.

I am sorry that i pissed you off with my acidic tongue, because i don't care. What i care about is how i make a living, and how my hair looks like when i get out of the doorway.


Even if i was really that stupid, at least i don't look like a dog faced schmuck.

When I Realized That We Can Never Be Friends Again..

July 26th.
The day when i'm deeply saddened by a hurting fact that he and i can never be friends again. This is what i have predicted, always. When there's a feeling involved in a friendship, things will never be the same again. (Ruined)

I will surely miss him, very much so. I can't help but but wondering if he's still going to read my blog, my poems (which are mostly inspired by him) and thinking if he still gonna reminisce about the closeness that we had.

Dear "Engkau",

For your very own information, i am trying hard to hold my tears right now, imagining how bad you must have felt. And if you happen to read what i write here, i want you to know that i know how you feel. And most importantly, ALLAH knows.

At this very moment, all i can do is to pray that you will always be blissfully happy. It was great while it lasted. For once, let me tell you that you made me a better person. Thank you for EVERYTHING.

... and dear " His Wife",

I am not sure if i ever knew how to say sorry to someone's wife, because i've never wrecked a home. What i know is that i am hurt ( although i know that this is nothing compared to how you feel ).


Dear readers,

Moral of the story, poetry is bad for you.

Yes I Do...

... drool.

I just discovered recently that i actually drool a lot while sleeping ( no, i lie, i discovered that a longggggggggg time ago ). Reasons being? Errrr.. i probably didn't get what i wanted during the day or before i go to bed? Or maybe simply because i am just a disgusting and disgraceful human being.

Picture this, me falling asleep in front of his folks while watching movie at home. When i woke up, i realized there was a huge amount of liquid sticking on my left arm and cheek. Ewww?

On the other hand, i never regret for being born with such a "cute flaw", because the more i drool, the deeper my sleep is.

I am actually not feeling bad or even slightly embarrassed by this, it's just that i can't help but thinking how do i actually look while i'm asleep? (plus the drooling part, of course).

Don't i love my pillow!

Reasons Why I Am Very Different From the Rest of You

1) I walk backwards when i am farkin' pissed off with something

2) I haven't bought undies in Malaysia for ages. I have over 150 pieces of Victoria's Secrets panties ( in good condition) for my current use. I collect undergarments ( granny underwear doesn't count)

3) Bra seller always thought that i'm a 36A or B..but honestly i'm a 34er.

4) I eat everything with salt. Nothing is salty enough for me

5) I haven't had alcohol since October 19th, 1979. Not even a sip

6) I have some really weird fetish. ( ask away!)

7) I have over 15 pair of nice watches ( i'm talking Swiss watches, not plastic watches ) , but i only wear a few of them for daily use

8) I broke two mobile phones since the past two months ( not something i'm proud of!)

9) I used to practice celibacy

10) Even my socks have got a name. ( But my vagina doesn't...hmm ok , i lie! )

11) I sometimes wish i was an Italian.

12) I have no problem admitting my vanity

13) I would kill for Gisele Bundchen's heavenly hot legs!

14) I judge men from the watches they wear and their (chiseled) jawline

15) I was born ugly. Therefore, it led me to having some really freaky nicknames . With "Kodok" to begin with, followed by "Papan" aka Woody Lass , "Kucing Hitam", and just recently , "Panda"


And of course yes, i am currently blogging from America.

Being Aida Whatthefuckovich

But i am NOT a puppeteer.
As i may say, it is hard being so vain, and yet so popular among the folks. You will sometimes find yourself torn in between. And at that moment, you are sicken with despair, realizing that it is never possible to satisfy everyone who are always expecting something from you.

Being me - ( rebellious, temperamental and determined ) has never been easy. Problem is, i think too much of other people, calling myself a bad person, and blaming myself for everything that didn't turn out good.

In the end, yes i have to be cruel to be kind ( thanks Dona).

Au revoir, folks!

Pourquoi?
First, was Aurora.
Followed by Chomelle. And tomorrow, Sophie.

And why, why, why.. everything has to leave me this week?


Je suis triste. Big time.

I will miss her so...

Photo : Credit to Aurora's Facebook

Everything must come to an end... and i am so going to miss her, terribly.
She is everything i could describe -an angel with a heart of gold. Her love for children is undescribable. Otherwise she won't be doing what she's doing now.

I will miss seeing her cleaning the house like no one else in this world ( i'm sorry i've been a terrible flat mate, Aro!)..

And so is Chomel, she will cry and cry at night, looking for Aurora.

And the kitchen - who is going to prepare salad there?

The living room - who is going to leave notes and messages on the table?

But last but not least, i am going to miss her so, her kind heart, her quirky Julia Robertsy smile, and cheerful soul. Take care my dear.

I had lunch with...

Ted Baker.

Ironically, everytime i itch myself having lunch outside the office, i often find myself trapped in Ted Baker. In some of my previous entry, i posted almost the same thing. Oh! I'm so lame!!

When i feel like getting a rub on my butt...

Image : Credit to Photobucket.com

I am not sure if you guys are going to understand what i 'm about to post here, but i do know that i feel like getting some kisses on my ass right now. Have you ever wanted something so badly that you can't even think of a way to get it sometimes? I have. I used to dream of being a sex doctor once. Yeah i know! Wtf right?I can't even give a proper blow job!

But at the time being, i just feel like getting a pat on my back. Yeah, some kind words telling me how good i have been lately. Hmmm... or maybe you should just let me know that i'm really good in proving my points and last but not least- i am awesome in debating! ( i won 98% of the arguments with the men i've been in relastionship with!)

P/S - I hope i won't get into trouble right after i post this entry!!

Feeling SEPI....

You may find this entry as the most melancholic blog entry by me, ever . Who would have thought.... I cried like an unattended starving baby in the cinema, as Nonoi watched and tried to calm me down.

Kabir Bhatia's focus is on love, loneliness and loss... Brilliantly made. I am still speechless, stunned and saddened. What has got into me? Heartless is what they call me, but hey i do cry.. And yes, Sepi has changed my perception about Malay movie.
Sepi official website

Enough said, i am not a film critic, a poet either. But i surely recommend all of you to haunt SEPI. Sepi means "lonely" in case you are wondering..

I get really annoyed...

...when people can't spell correctly. Nevermind the imperfect English or Malay (i am not perfect either) but can't you just write properly? Yes, it annoys me super much! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

The most annoying bits:

"I DoNt WaNna Go 2 dat place"
" i dunno how to do dat, im not sure"

Comment : Errr...did you not go to kindergarten school? Or has your teacher forgotten to tell you about the existence of an apostrophe? Or perhaps, you can't tell the difference between capital letters and the opposite?

Mixing English and Malay? Take a look at these awesome blogs:
Effi and Malim

Now bugger off, insensitive people! You are corrupting our blogsphere!

When i realized it's time to make babies...

Thanks to my camphone, i was quite pleased to snap this while rushing into a cab during busy lunch hour in KLCC. Priceless!

Me : Hey Olivia, your complexion is so much better nowadays, you look good, what have you done differently?

Olivia : Thanks..aiyah...nothing really new lah... it's just SK II... we are getting older mahhh..

Me : Yeah we're reaching thirty Oli!

Olivia : Ya lah... our life is over! We are gonna be 30 next year. It's over!

Me : What are you talking about? My life has just started! It's only thirty and am loving it!

Well now, where did i get that courage from? I thought I have always been the one who is so concerned about aging, and so paranoid of getting old? Why the change of heart?

One thing for sure- i must have gotten it from my mama!

When i realized that the taxi service has taken its toll on me..

Article in The Expat, page 30, July issue. Credit to my very own lovely boss who wrote this.

Another 'sweet' revealation , but yet they haven't realized what they have got to do about this scenario. What a shame, our taxi service SUCKS, big time.

Read this: Copy and Paste from NST . Credit to NST online and my dear boss, Andy. And yes, i did see thousands responses from the magazine readers coming through the fax machine near me.

When they're f*****g kidding me...

The Star paper, Saturday the 28th.

Errrr... and i am supposed to give them credit for that? Why am i not thrilled by the fact that the government launched a few lame strategies to boost our tourism industry?

Not surprised. It's like having a piece of paper with a small black dot in the middle, and all you do is focusing on the dot, but not the wide white areas. My point is, there are plenty other things to look at, but they are often ignored and forgotten. Who gives a shit about NEW LOGO???? Who gives a damn about contests???????????

Create some awareness about vandalism! And yes thank you ministers, take a look at our public transportation. Does it not occur to you that we are sooooooooo behind our own 'great' neighbour- Singapore?? Improve the taxi service goddammmittt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Attract 14 million tourists???? Dream on, and never wake up.

Shame. People still love mundanes in their lives. Not me. I have love for rarity and seldomness. Please don't think that it is not for me to say just because i don't vote. I'd focus on things which have obviously tormented into pieces,rather than fixing something unnecessary (like creating a new logo). They fuckin' kidding me. Seriously.

The hoh-ness we always have...

I consider myself lucky... sebab mempunyai golongan kawan-kawan yang hoh seperti yang di bawah.. The fun and togetherness we had last night was so much hoh!

The retards

Some of the foodies...

Lovin' this one... nuts Dona and baby Rania

Foodie again.. this is very basic..hehehe..

Ahemm..... doesn't she look a bit like me?

The obvious hohness!

The hoh family

Mummy of the year and her angel..

It's the togetherness that counts afterall.. I always have so much fun with them even when we're just ghost busting..

When i know that i'm being taken advantage of...

Relax pals.. No one took advantage of me (seriously)..


Some may not notice that it is actually me in that picture. I was kidding around during our karaoke outing, and insisted them to snap a slightly 'scary' picture of me. But yeah.. when the picture fell into the wrong hand..it became like the above hahhahahahahha!!!! Now i know that they were taking advantage on the eerie image and played around with it! Having too much fun, weren't you guys?? :-)

Funnily enough, this happens when we all are so into "ghost hunting"... Sickers vs Seekers as Maman says....

There is no secret ingredient...

Image : Credit to photobucket.com

You're right Panda, there is no secret ingredient. The only ingredient to succeed is to move our asses, and stop complaining! (Yes Aida, i'm talking to you!)

When i .....

With Daniel and Farah ( they belong to bubbly Dona)

...... realized that i'm reaching 30, and gotta start having a family.

Some people start early...some people start very late.

I guess i'm in the 'late' category.

I fear a lot of things in my life - and getting old is one of them. Is this a sign of being in denial or what?

When i realize that internet and reward programme are so cool!!

I can't stop ha-ha-ha -ing! Honey- let's hit the mall! :-)

Euphoria unveiled...

As much as i dislike Ministry of Sound ( the one in Singapore), i have to say that i am so looking forward to enter KL's very own Euphoria. Maybe it's overrated, but it may not be. Let's see! Hmmm my sense of euphoria starts to kick in!

I'm not a party animal or an alcoholic, but i so love cool crowd, beautiful cool people with cool atmosphere!

When i know that i have something to look forward to...

Her timeless beauty.

I accidentally snapped this picture while i was playing with Romi and Ben in my old apartment ( the one that caters to my shitload of stuffs). I kinda like the way it was. Cramped, disorganized, messy and yet still smells like me. :-)

I never managed to hang that ginormous poster frame of her, maybe i just don't have the courage to do that, or perhaps i just like the way she leans against the wall. (I still have some small frames somewhere in the apartment though) ...In case you haven't noticed, she inspires me in so many way.. They call me her wannabe, i just don't care. She is irreplaceable, irrisistable and she's a goddess of all goddesses. No one can even be her impersonator, and never will.

Image : Credit to Audreyhepburn.com

No one. No one. No one.

Ever come close to her. Not even Grace Kelly and Elizabeth Taylor ( i think)

Talk

" Oh brother I can't, I can't get through
I've been trying hard to reach you 'cause I don't know what to do
Oh brother I can't believe it's true
I'm so scared about the future and I wanna talk to you
Oh I wanna talk to you

You can take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that's never been done

Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?
Tell me how you feel?
Well I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak
And they're talking it to me

So you take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that's never been done
Or do something that's never been done

So you don't know where you're going and you wanna talk
And you feel like you're going where you've been before
You tell anyone who'll listen but you feel ignored
Nothing's really making any sense at all, let's talk
Let's talk, let's talk, let's talk "

- COLDPLAY

Not a time waster..

SMS queen?
This bloody Celcom Xpax prepaid is something i'm not quite happy with.Exorbitant!
The phone ?
Loving it, since i am too lazy to carry my Nikon D70S or even carrying the sleek Sony T9, i'm quite pleased with this N95 8G. Comes with built in Carl Zeiss Autofocus 5 megapixel, i can snap anything i like - even when i'm in the 'business centre' doing 'stuff' hehehehe..
Nokia - i still heart you!

Mi vida...

I have to say that i love Saturdays. My favourite day of the week. Being such a vain pot i am, Saturdays are for grooming, pouting or even shopping.Last Saturday, yes, i did the same exact thing like the past Saturdays. Hair. Nails. And right after that, self indulgence:



Before



After

My other public shoebox

It happens. I so love blogging but at the moment, my damaged brain doesn't permit me to do so! Hence, i come up with these...

Once you go Brit, you never go back..!

The fashion sense - sensible.
The money spending habit - predictable

I found myself so fascinated by UK brands. Hmmm.. surprised? Splurge..splurge..splurge..
Lucky, aren't i?

Saturday shopping spree. A brief trip to The Gardens,didn't cause me so much trouble and didn't cost me fortune hahahha. The dress from Ted Baker - it's from the clearance sale, and the bathing suit from Topshop - they're relatively cheap. Told you am a smart shopper!

The Burberry duffel bag? It's a gift from someone- have only used it once.And the list goes on...Hmmm wait! Did i mention that i love Paul Smith's cufflinks?

Hoh!

Guess what??
I got a new widget! Hoh!

Stapled to commitments?

Am i?

Accompanied by papers, papers and papers ( and how many times i have to mention how much i hate papers??) , i realized that everything in our daily routines involve papers.

Maybe my life is destined to be stapled to papers. Some of you may find that i keep on yapping about myself, myself and myself. Yeah, what a vain pot i am, keep saying .." Nil Satis Nisi Optimum"

Ok, let's get back to the reality of life.

Work = obligation

Sex = necessity

Relationship = mandatory?

Money = EVERYTHING??

I got knocked down.....

But i get up again!

You're never gonna keep me down!

Ahahha sounds familiar? At this moment, i'm looking like a zombie with 10 pounds of eyebag ( gee..that's heavy!) .. Hmmm... Euro..Euro..why are you doing this to me? The Azzuris pissed me off, they run like blonde bimbos...

Huh..am i talking gibberish?

When i keep on frowning...

Gloomy, cloudy, foggy (pinjam Malim punya word kejap) . There are times where i just can't stay focus on what i'm doing, and it gets me into deep serious trouble. The boss isn't happy, and some of the clients aren't either. Shrugging my shoulders with a frowny face. Dear God, whoever you are, please save me from myself.

Practical, eh?

I pretend as if i live in NYC. The cab city. Yes i do feel bad for vehicle owners. The petrol price hike.Don't hate me cuz i live two blocks away from my office! Well, well, well... soon i will be feeling bad for myself as well when every other prices are increasing too!

Flipping through The News Straits Times today, i saw this article. Practical, eh? It reminds me of those days before Merdeka. Hmmm.. speaking of that, i also thought of how good i was in History lesson.. hahahah! Yes- the Portuguese invaded Malacca in 1511, i suppose?

When love and hate collides...

Something has come to an end.
And, something else has just begun.
I am late for work today (again). But i do not feel bad, i feel great instead, because i have just had one of the best sleep ever. I fell asleep with no tears, not even a tear drop. Coming to work at 10.40am isn't really something i'm proud of, but hey - i feel pretty today. I hate for not being puntual, but i love the fact that i had a good sleep. Check this out:

A sign that i had a deep, good sleep. Yes, guys out there, i drool. Does that turn you off?

A longggggggggggg lunch

Yeah i know. The "lunch" subject doesn't suit the pictures i posted here. I just came back from a long lunch with Rafizan. Talked about this and that..chit and chat.. bla..bla..bla.. ha..ha..ha..and of course we were gossiping! Here:



Not gonna show you what's inside. But this is to show you how fast and furious i am. Within just a minute i can see what i want from a store. Errrr..yes, the spending habit? Working on it, pals! Hey i gotta treat myself after getting a paycheck right?
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And suddenly...

Yes. The less fortunate . Made me almost drop the shopping bag as soon as i came out from the store. Speechless still. How can i not feel that i'm lucky enough to be able to see, and spend money on things i want?

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Ungrateful bitch, they may call me. Sigh

When you say nothing at all...

One Thursday afternoon. In my cubicle.

Flipping through our June's issue. Second cover! The artist is a gentleman called Ng Foo Cheong. I fell in love instantly when i saw the July 2006 cover, and quickly snapped a picture of it. Then, it became my mobile phone wallpaper for such a long time. Here it is again, i nearly fell off my chair when i found the copy on my desk earlier on. How funny, it reminds me of my previous years, yeah, to be exact..2005 - 2006. The good old days?

The only time i wish i was an heiress...

Everytime i tell "that one person" how much i dislike my job, he'll say "Welcome to the real world. This is what we call W-O-R-K and not F-U-N". Being in the right company, having the best working environment ever, does not mean i really LOVE what i'm doing. I probably look like someone who enjoys her job, but i gotta be honest that i kinda suck at it most of the times. I am pretty good in delaying things, and keep telling myself " i'll do it later". The consequences? Bunch of messages left on my desk while i was away just for a few hours. Sucks, doesn't it?

Papers. Papers. Papers.

Have i told you lately that i HATE papers? Paperworks to be exact. I never even get a decent score in Maths when i was in school, why am i doing what i do now anyway? This part of my life is called "MISERY".

Jill Mansell. I need you. Right now.

Brida O Brida...

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" But how will i know who my Soulmate is?"

"By taking risk" she said to Brida. "By risking failure, disappointment, disillusion, but never ceasing in your search for Love. As long as you keep looking, you will triumph in the end"

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That's the story of Brida. I guess i haven't found my victory, huh?

They say..

... words are just words.

I don't think so. I love words. I mean... beautiful,creative words. But that doesn't necessary mean that guys can get into my pants just by writing a poem for me! :-)

I found the A Samad Said's anthology at Border's. Funnily enough, someone has been meaning to find him as well! Coincidently, i came across this great collections of his poems from 1950 until 2005. They're 217 poems in total.

Errrr...the other book? It's a gift from someone. Yes, someone. Someone who failed to differentiate between tulips and lillies. But that's okay, because "The Fickle One" has indeed touched my heart and soul. Seriously. Good job, Neruda.